The Dismal Science

Music and lyrics by Susie Davis and Elliot Marseille DrPH, MPP ©2020


Cost effectiveness analysis, is the branch of economics:
That aims to get the biggest impact, with the money that you’ve got
Within’ a constrained budget, how do you maximize averted deaths?
In other words, where’s the biggest bang for the buck? ___

If budgets were unlimited none of this would matter
But scarcity is real and so we try
Cause any deviation from optimal efficiency
Unfortunately means that people (what’s the technical term…oh yeah … die )

There’s never enough, to meet the infinite needs
The numbers don’t lie you must follow where they lead
To the data we will pledge alliance
Welcome to the dismal science

As we figure out the most efficient ways to cure disease
Be ready to descend into the pit
I don’t want to get too personal, I hate to be so graphic
But it all comes down to semen blood and spit … for instance

In analsizing risk it really makes a difference whether
intercourse is receptive or inserted ___
cause it affects the cost per incremental unprotected episode
of vaginal intercourse averted –

There’s never enough, to meet the infinite needs
The numbers don’t lie you must follow where they lead
To the data we will pledge alliance
Welcome to the dismal science

You’ll get carpal tunnel from pounding on your keys
And the boredom of the conference will bring you to your knees
once your paper is reviewed, for a journal is approved
And the publishing date is nigh, Your expectations high
Your reward will be the sound of one hand clapping

Some say that what we do is cold and technocratic
staring at your screen with your latte in your hand
Of the plight of all the people in West African Sahara
What could you, with all your education… ever understand?

Some say that efficiency is incompatible with empathy
but you can’t have one without the oth - er
though its true that we are technocrats, we express our deep humanity
by looking for the best way to spend those scarce and precious dollars

There’s never enough, to meet the infinite needs
The numbers don’t lie you must follow where they lead
To the data we will pledge alliance
Welcome to the dismal science